hopes

04/08/2025

my paper journals have become entirely too chaotic for me to know how to translate into text on a webpage.

i picked up gratitude journalling at the start of this month. three whole days ago. the habit is fairly easy to maintain at the moment since i just write down a word or thought that makes me happy and stick it into my gratitude album. i bought a bunch of cutesy stationery and cheap lip balms. i guess i want to look like a corpse, not smell like one.

since i've been away from home for the week, the housemate's cat is being extra affectionate. unfortunately his affection can get quite spiky. i'm typing one-handed so as to not interrupt his sleep.

05/08/2025

pain

06/08/2025

have become quite enthusiastic about organising my life, as i do every tax season.

this may be because my period does not seem to want to stop, and the cramps have me in bed all day. i have nothing better to do but sleep and think.

i've reorganised the apps on my phone.

07/08/2025

the bleeding and the cramping won't leave me alone.

in other news, people actually seem to see me as some kind of professional?

18/08/2025

once again, i have allowed myself to build up to needing to backfill a dozen or more logs.

today is the first day of my new strategy of forcing myself to get up and dressed in the morning, instead of lying in bed/on the couch allowing my worries to convince me that i am hopeless and nothing i do matters except when it makes the world a worse place.

my recent stationery splurge has helped. it's been a small help, but not insignificant that instead of rotting away watching letsplays i grab a pencil and just scribble words, or images, whatever comes to mind in the moment.

i've been very, very anxious lately, and i've been putting off a bunch of essential tasks because they either require leaving the house or talking to people. this can only be good for me.

31/08/2025

i am so rubbish at keeping a diary, oh my gosh.